Archive for the ‘Tamil sex advice’ Category

First Night Tips!

October 28, 2008

Pray together

You know the importance of this day. It’s the first time you are spending alone with your wife and a remarkable beginning of a new era of your life. Among many who are still not able to get wedded due to so many reasons you are one among the lucky slot to achieve it. Isn’t it a great opportunity to thank God? Hold hands to together, read the Bible and thank God who made this entire thing possible. Commit your family life to God and promise to keep Him the head of your family. There’s no joy than to give glory to God for such a happy moment in your life.

Do not hurry.

Sex is often mistaken with intercourse. Sex doesn’t always mean inserting the genital. It starts with loving your spouse physically with all your mind. You need to admire your spouse, touch, massage, kiss passionately and most importantly make her feel that she is important. Hold her firmly and instill the feeling that she’s secure within your arms. So on day 1, you might have to talk a lot by staying physically close to her. You could hug her from behind or wrap your arms around her waist while talking. This gives her time to get used to physical contact. Generally this leads to closeness so you may end up hugging tight after a while. Once a while kiss her hands while holding it.

Kiss on Forehead

During the conversation, once a while kiss her forehead. Generally because your wife is shorter you could easily reach her forehead. Carefully notice her reactions to your first kiss. Some may shy away whereas some do not show the excitement and would keep talking. If you feel she is comfortable, go ahead and increase your frequency of kissing. Move forward to start kissing her cheeks, chin and nose. Please spare the lips for sometime…do not rush; play cool. When I say kissing, kindly make sure you keep yourself basically clean without bad breath and perspiration odor. Also don’t spray strong scents. These are stinkers that generally spoil the enjoyment of sex. Brush your teeth and take a shower before. Wear light clothes.

Kissing on the lips
There is no hard and fast rule to do this. But there are definitely don’ts that you have to be careful with. Follow you own style…be gentle. Don’t rush or be too hard. Haven’t you heard, “slow and steady wins the race”? Smooching is the common term for kissing on the lips. Smooch as much as you can as long as your spouse feels comfortable. Once a while consider her cheeks also. The ears and neck are very sensitive and play a vital role. Smooch her ears and neck gently.


Plan pregnancy in advance

October 28, 2008

Now that you know the process of conception you can easily plan when to have your baby. Some may considering trying from day 1. For some children are great responsibilities and so plan to get pregnant after a year or so. In any case plan ahead. Remember pre-wedding talks? Add this to the agenda. Reach a consensus on when you want to get pregnant. The ideal way is to decide from when you would want to start trying. If you think you would be ready for a baby after two years you could plan to start attempting after one year of your marriage. Why should you decide? You should because you need to follow contraceptive methods to delay the pregnancy. Both of you should be comfortable trying a contraceptive way and it should be out of free will, not compelled.

Contraceptive Methods

If you ask any doctor the best way to avoid pregnancy is abstinence which means refraining from sexual intercourse. There no great punishment than forcing a newly married couple to refrain from intercourse. Sexual intercourse is something that you shouldn’t be missing for whatever reason at least for the first year. So the ideal way to help you enjoy sex as well stay away from getting pregnant is to adapt contraceptive ways. There are so many types of contraception. The most easy and economic way is the condom and the pills. Condoms do not allow the sperm to enter whereas the contraceptive pills would allow the entered sperms to get in touch with the egg. Pills use hormones so many people are apprehensive towards using it though many claim that they are absolutely safe. Condoms do not have any advert effects but definitely lessens the pleasure of sex. There are ultra-thin condoms available but definitely wouldn’t match the pleasure of a naked penis!

Issues using the condoms

A condom is a great tool to delay pregnancy but has its own setbacks. In a country like India buying a condom from a medical store needs immense courage. The stare you get from the guy in the pharmacy as well the people around you make you sick. Another issue is the mind set of men. Men think condom is a hindrance and great shame to their manliness. So the hard penis may soften once your wear the condom. Psychologists say it’s completely mind related and can be solved with a little bit of counseling and changing the way you think.

To get over the first issue drop into a grocery store and buy condoms in bulk so that you don’t have to face that completely uncomfortable situation often. To get over the second issue, one must be extremely strong in mind. Some suggest the softening of the penis is because there is no direct physical contact on the outer skin. Believe me your penis is a great attention seeker and wouldn’t budge until it’s given due attention. So do not wear the condom until the foreplay is over and you are planning to enter into her. Some suggest that you keep the condom open and ready to use in your hand a little while before you are going to enter her. As soon as you want to insert the penis, put on the condom and go ahead. The softening may be due to the time delay in reaching out to the packet, slitting it open and taking the condom out. It surely works!

Delayed Conception

For couples who don’t want to get pregnant and are playing safe only during the 10th to the 20th day delayed conception is a real threat. Remember I told you the egg when not getting in contact until the 20th day would start disintegrating? Sometimes the egg would survive for an additional 2-3 days. In that case on the 21st day when you don’t follow any contraceptive methods the egg would get matured. There are a number of ways to find if the ovulation periods are over.

The Process of Marriage in a Typical (South) Indian tradition! I’m no exception.

October 28, 2008

I thought I would in a nutshell describe how I got married so that most of the readers could well relate with me. I was born in a Tamil Christian orthodox family. Sunday school, bible reading, prayer and church was a part of life. I thank God for His amazing grace that lead me this far. Like every other tamil school boy, I had one ambition during my 12th: To score above 1100 and get into an engineering college. Tuitions, extended school hours gave little time to freak. By the grace of God I scored above 1100 and got into an engineering college. All through the course, again like most of the tamils, I wanted to get placed in a software company and fly to the US. Again grace of God, it all happened. At a very early age I rose to levels in my career and by 25 I was all set for marriage. My parents started hunting for a girl. My appa often in our usual dad-to-son conversations tried to know if I had a girl in my mind. I ruled out that possibility and always believed that my parents could make a better choice than I could ever. I simply thought any ways I had to live with a girl learning her likes and dislikes and making myself used to it. So what big deal let me do that with the one my parents choose for me! Well, they finally found her…she was just out of college. I was 26 and she was 21…what a pair! We got engaged and after 5 months held hands at the altar before God. Before the wedding like any other Indian fiancé I spoke to her on the phone for long hours. It was during these talks (mostly over phone and occasional outings) we got to know each other more. We cherished each other’s company and couldn’t wait for the big day. Surprisingly, we were wise enough to also discuss about our sex life which gave us the opportunity to clear most of the myths and prepare ourselves for that great occasion of our lives.

Why did I write this blog about Holy Sex?

October 28, 2008

When talks about my wedding started in the family, I was both excited and puzzled. Excited about the fact that I’m going to get married and puzzled on the fact how am going to win as a great spouse. Of the many questions that I asked myself, one area where I had little or no experience was in the area of sex. Like any other orthodox tamil family the topic of sex or in that case even a romantic scene on the TV wasn’t received well. Sex was always that secret of secrets which was hidden like a treasure. So naturally with no internet or any other mediums of sex education not accessible during my times I grew up with scanty knowledge of sex. Once in a while we would bring this topic among friends and you know boys had their own definitions. I would often laugh thinking of those innocent conversations that we had during our early teens. Brought up in such an environment how do you think I would suddenly get the enlightenment over this topic once I’m married.

Thankfully advancements in technology have made this world smaller through internet and I took advantage of it. I “googled” with keywords like “sex advice”, “sex after marriage”, “sexual happiness”. Depending on your filter settings you would end up with so many results all of which don’t relate to us Indians. The cultural differences project sex in different ways and so sex as defined by an American sexologist wouldn’t be very apparent to our Indian lifestyle. For e.g. I bumped into a site (clean one ofcourse) which counseled youth. It constantly emphasized the need to be protective against sexual hazards during sex after dates for school children (13-17 years). It was indeed a great site and would serve the purpose but definitely not for someone like me who wanted to know the whereabouts of sex after marriage. Unsuccessful after many attempts I went through a few English sites and gained some knowledge. One of those sites, I faintly remember where, said this: “Do not be too anxious but be cool…you can learn and perform well as time goes on” which actually spurred the inspiration out of me. I did get married later and having a great time, sexually!

It was then I thought I should write a blog for the Indian youth to let know the facts of sex and marriage to clear our minds of the myths and take on facts to have a pleasurable sex life.